Today is the exact halfway point of my life – I have been alive the same amount of time as I will still be alive.
Do I know when I will die?
No, of course not.
But just play with me for a moment.
Do you ever think about how long you still have on this earth? Not just in a vague “of course I’ll die someday when I’m old and grey” kind of way, but really think about the number of years, months, weeks you may still have left?
What if you knew you only had 3 months left to live? Would you make different choices about how and with whom you’d spend your time? What about one year? 10 years?
Inspired by a story about Steve Hardison, who not only reserved a burial plot, but already put up a grave stone for him and his wife with the date of his death chalked in (and even attended his own funeral when he reached his halfway point), I chose a date of my own passing. Six has always been my favourite number, so 6-6-2066 seemed a great date, when I’ll be 88 – bonus! (to me, the number 88 symbolises double infinity).
With that date in mind, I printed a life calendar where each square represents a week of my life. I spent two and half hours colouring each week that I already lived while listening to Steve Chandler’s audio book Right Now (which turned out to be the perfect companion for this activity and which I highly recommend). I chose to divide my life into 4 quarters and to give each quarter a different colour. At a glance I can easily see the third quarter of my life has started, and I can see how many years there still are. And like nothing else before, this visual representation of my life in weeks made me realise I still have too many years ahead of me to keep holding on to some thoughts, beliefs and behavioural patterns that no longer serve me or have kept me stuck until now.
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Of course I might die (long) before 2066, or I might live (way) beyond it (one of my granddads lived until 101), but that’s not the point. The point is, I have a visual reminder of the fact that my life is indeed finite, ticking away week by week. And every week as I colour one more square, I’m reminded that I don’t have an infinite number of weeks left. Life is finite, and I want to be aware of that on a regular basis, so I don’t waste it.
What will you do with your one precious, wild life? — Mary Oliver